This weekend is much better than the last. I'm not sure why... maybe because I'm feeling better about life in general. Definitely more confused, but better.
I attempted to fill out an application for Disney, but after doing so and filling out a web interview, I was informed that I did not meet the requirements that they were looking for, and that I could try again in April. So that's a lovely and dandy, and it means that I can definitely go up to CT over my winter break (now I just have to figure out where I'm staying, but that's for a whole different blog post) but it hasn't decided my summer. I'm quite torn up about what to do.
In the first place, I'm going to be here for the spring semester, hopefully taking 5 classes, so long as my financial aid'll allow me. And I'm going to try for work study also. That, including the Vice (or Co...) presidency of Masquers should keep me pretty busy. And I'm probably going to want to have the summer completely off. However, I do already have a job here, and if I stay I could probably take at least one more course at the college over the summer, which would put me ahead/keep me on track, depending on how you look at it.
The other thing that's been put in my head is to go up to Connecticut for the summer. I'd find a job, rent out a room, or apartment, and perhaps be in Cirillo's play, if I could manage to audition. It would be a break from the family, a break from Virginia, and a break from being lonely. Even if I didn't see my friends every day, I know I'd be able to see them at least once or twice a week, especially if I got into Cirillo. And that would be a nice change from my usual, communication through the computer. Which is rather icky, because I feel attached to this thing, much more attached than anyone should be to an inanimate object.
The smart, practical thing would be to just bite the bullet and stay here, take the job, and graduate with plenty of time to spare. That would be exactly what I would do if I was the stereotypical good, smart, loving daughter and student. However, sadly, I am not. I think that by the time I finish my spring semester that I'm going to be a wreck, if not completely crazy, and I'll want to leave as fast as possible. And while I should stay in VA, because there are some great opportunities here, if I would just stay on one place... I have too much wanderlust. I love traveling around, and I think that I'll want to leave after another 5 months here.
I'm very conflicted about this. Which is better - my mental health, or the opportunities I can gain? I know that I'll get over something eventually. It might take a while, (perhaps years) but would it be worth my regrets to definitely be out of school, definitely by summer '11? And then what about Disney? I'm not sure I should even apply again in April. Perhaps I should wait another 2 years, until I can definitely go out for the Spring advantage. but then who knows if I'll even get into the Disney program then?
I'm very conflicted about this whole thing. But I was just informed that I am slacking as a member of this family, so I'd better go.
~thesingingprincess
No comments:
Post a Comment